3.30.2008

Ward Boundaries

I'm not sure of the last time I've cried so much ...

Thankfully I didn't really start crying until we left the stake center... My head hurts, my eyes are red, my nose is running and I feel like a huge dork because I can't seem to stop. I'm not talking loud bawling or anything - just quiet, trying-not-to-cry tears. Trying to accept things that I cannot change tears. Trying not to upset the children tears. Digging DEEP for the faith I know is there tears. If I'm being honest with myself, selfish tears.

I grew up in a military family. We moved every three years and that's just the way it was. I always made new friends at each new post and many, many of those friendships have lasted into my adult years. I haven't completely put my finger on why this move is so hard for me but I guess it's because we didn't move. We're still here but our sense of here is now completely changed.

We moved to Texas in July of 1999, almost 9 years ago, and have been members of the Arlington 5th ward since then. Cara turned one here in this house - that's how long ago we're talking. To some nine years may not sound like a lot but, for me, to be in one ward that long is a true record. We live here with our closest immediate family a 20-hour drive away - the 5th ward has been our family. I've been the Primary president, in the Young Women presidency, and now in the Relief Society presidency in this ward. Bryan's been in the Primary, Financial clerk, Executive Secretary and Elder's Quorum presidency in this ward. We have history here...

Today our stake realigned boundaries of 5 different wards and created a new ward. People from the 5th ward were reassigned to 4 different wards, including some back into 5th. We are now members of the Arlington 4th ward. I knew that we would probably be going to a new ward but I didn't think we would be the only active family from 5th ward to be moved into the 4th ward pretty much by ourselves. (There are 2 active single brothers who are also in this boat with us.) All of our other friends from 5th ward had a large chuck of people they would stay with as they transitioned into a new ward family. This is where the selfish part comes in...

The stake president, whom I highly respect and have much love for, asked each ward to stand and sustain the new bishoprics one at a time. When we stood, I looked around to see who else would be in the 4th ward and saw maybe two people I personally know standing with us - none of which were from 5th ward. I don't think I've ever felt more alone. I couldn't help it - two tears slipped down my cheeks as I raised my hand to sustain this monumental change. Now they won't stop.

Sorry if this post is a downer. I know, just like when I was growing up military, that I'm not losing friends, I'll be gaining new ones. I'm just trying really hard to get over the intense feelings of loss I have right now. I do have a testimony of the gospel. I know the church is true. I get it. I'll be relying on that knowledge and faith to get me through this until I come to grips with our new reality.

12 comments:

Anderson Zoo Keepers said...

I won't go into the whole, "here's how you should look at it" or "aren't you glad that" thing because I know you know all that and right now you are just feeling like crud. Instead I'll just say that I'm so sorry because as an Army brat, once you finally find a home it must feel extra raunchy to get it taken away so dramatically in a split second. Like you said though - you're an old hand at this junk. ;-)

Aubrey said...

I'm so sorry! That just sucks. I know that you guys will do great in 4th ward, but that doesn't make it any better. I'm sorry you're all alone. I love ya chica! Please let me know if I can do anything for you.

Erin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erin said...

Sorry I erased the last post because I typed something wrong and it was bothering me (OCD).!
I love you! I've been thinking about you none stop since yesterday. I'm here for you anytime you need to chat, cry, laugh, or yell. Court and I are going to take you out this week we need to figure out a good night, how about Thursday?

courtney said...

I am so sorry. You are amazing and wonderful! It does totally stink. It is ok to feel sad. love ya.

Stephanie said...

I too am extremely sorry to see you go. You were the first person who went out of their way to welcome me into 5th ward 7 years ago. I am thankful to have you as a friend! You will be missed!

Spymommy said...

Oh, my sweet friend, I am feeling for you right now. Ward boundary changes are always hard . . . for someone.

I still remember when they split the Servicemens Ward in Hberg. (before you came) I was devastated because Shelli Tobler and Jeremy Mooring (sigh) were in the other ward. I cried and cried. And then I dealt with it.

Fast forward to American Fork, UT twenty years later where they split our ward using one street as the dividing line and I ended up being the ONLY one of my friends in the new ward - similar to you now. And I cried, and cried. And then I dealt with it.

It sucks now - and you should get to cry, and cry. And then you'll deal with it.

I'm just excited that now everyone in the 4th ward gets to find out how awesome you and Brian are. Years from now you'll look back and say "Oh, now I see what the Lord was doing."

Love you Hil!

Hil said...

Thanks for your words everyone. I do feel a lot better today...
Now, as Sam says, to deal with it!

Heather said...

I thought about your family when I looked at the map. I have to give it to you at least you made it out of the building. I didn't make it that far. I really loved listening to you in Relief society when you taught. And of watching your family grow. I can't believe how big both girls are. 4th ward is very lucky to have your family there.

Adam Lowe said...

Hey, I live in Mansfield. I don't know you, but I was putting together a map to visualize some of the boundary changes, and I couldn't help but notice that you guys look like you might be further away from your old ward than anyone! Except for maybe the two families that got moved from Mansfield 2nd to Arlington 2nd, but still.

Check out my map here:
http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&ie=UTF8&msa=0&msid=111014152648324303043.000449aff64e8d747d021&ll=32.593106,-97.101631&spn=0.131032,0.20977&z=12

Adam Lowe said...

Hmm, that link didn't work. I will post a link on my blog, here:

http://bigpickles.blogspot.com/

Newlywed News said...

Yeah I am just wondering how you got the cute top and I am stuck with a boring ugly one?? I am sorry to hear about your ward..I didn't like my student ward here, but I love our new married ward, so I think I kind of understand not having a friend in your ward.